We have to first learn how to be soothed with another before we can learn to soothe ourselves.
What often times happens is that we are left to feel distress alone or our distress is invalidated or punished.
“Go to time out until you calm down”
“You’re so dramatic”
“That’s nothing to cry about”
Or maybe we just learned to function and never share what we were going through.
This pattern inhibits our ability to self soothe and BE with our own emotional experiences. They can feel “too much” “overwhelming”.
In order to turn away from what’s happening inside, we manage by numbing or distracting.
This can look like:
Overworking
Over exercising
Using substances
Constant cleaning
Yelling
Need for someone around all the time
Problem solving for others
Etc, etc, etc.
Therapy can be one of the best spaces to soothe that inner distress and allow for you to learn to be with your emotions again.
Thank You!
I hope you found this message helpful. If you’re interested in learning how to unpack your feelings, Let’s dive deeper!
~ Saudia
Life Redefined Healing Therapists in Friendswood TX are here to help. Available for Telemental Health Sessions nationwide or in person.
Schedule an appointment with us today!
and be sure to follow Life Redefined Healing Therapy Services on Instagram
Anxiety vs. Intuition How do you know the difference?
Anxiety and Intuition can both protect us from harm. However, intuition has a very sure, loving presence in our body. It is clear and direct. When intuition is present there is no worry or panic.
Anxiety is all fear and worry and what ifs. It asks more questions than gives answers. It can be unsure and confused. It’s concerned with the what next, or opinions, thoughts and feelings of others.
Anxiety is what occurs in the presence of fear, Intuition is what you hear in the absence of fear.
When you have a dysregulated nervous system, the lack of safety and self trust drowns out intuition. It never leaves us but it’s whispers are often missed.
In order to increase the volume of our intuition we have to decrease the volume of our anxiety, regulate our system and come back into a place of safety and balance.
If you are interested in practices that can regulate you find that sense of balance and safety inside, join my email list!
Thank You!
I hope you found this message helpful. If you’re interested in learning how to unpack your feelings, Let’s dive deeper!
~ Saudia
Life Redefined Healing Therapists in Friendswood TX are here to help. Available for Telemental Health Sessions nationwide or in person.
Schedule an appointment with us today!
and be sure to follow Life Redefined Healing Therapy Services on Instagram
Hey, Body: You were never broken. You were and are always working brilliantly to keep me safe.
I’m sorry for all of the years I didn’t understand this.
I know you get a bad rap, but I see you now. I hear you now. I trust you now.
Even when I fought against you, even when I didn’t listen, you never stopped protecting me.
I acknowledge the work you’re doing. Thank you.
Friend, your feelings are your body’s way of communicating with you. They are armor. Your body does so much work to keep you safe. Have you thanked it lately?
Healing exercise: Close your eyes and place both hands over your heart. Breathe deeply and consciously. As you feel and hear your heartbeat within you, notice how it brilliantly beats without you telling it to do so. Say aloud, “Thank you, heart. Thank you, body.”
Thank You!
I hope you found this message helpful. If you’re interested in learning how to unpack your feelings, Let’s dive deeper!
~ Andi
Life Redefined Healing Therapists in Friendswood TX are here to help. Available for Telemental Health Sessions nationwide or in person.
Schedule an appointment with us today!
and be sure to follow Life Redefined Healing Therapy Services on Instagram
With folks being confined to their homes, and unable to maintain their normal routines, there is a global heightening of anxiety and extreme isolation. Now more than ever, improving and/or maintaining our mental health is an urgent matter. I know firsthand how hard therapists all over the country are working to ensure that their current clients and new clients have access to these must needed services.
What is Telemental Health?
Telemental health is the provision of remote mental health services (typically done via video. but can also be provided through text, email, or telephone.)by psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, counselors, and marriage and family therapists. Historically, the platforms that services are provided on, had to be HIPAA compliant. Given the sudden halt to services due to the Covid-19 pandemic, associations, and insurance panels have allowed more flexibility to the platforms that therapy can be provided on. What that means for you, is that sessions can be conducted on platforms such as FaceTime, Google Hangouts, and Skype. in the form of online counseling for depression. Your therapist will provide you with an informed consent discussing the limits, to confidentiality when sessions are conducted on a non- HIPPA compliant platform in addition to other logistics that will ensure a productive therapy session.
Who can receive Telemental Health Services?
The short answer to this is Everyone. You can be an existing client or a new client. You can be seen as an individual or as a couple or family. There can even be group sessions provided using this medium. In my own practice, I have used video sessions for individual therapy and couple’s therapy, who require online counseling for depression, although it may take some getting used to, everyone adjusts a few minutes and the sessions deliver the same value as when they are face to face.
Why should you try out Telemental health?
The reality is the whole world stands in a place of uncertainty. Uncertainty about our health, our finances, and our futures. This level of uncertainty can spiral someone into a very unhealthy space. Additionally, there’s no playbook for surviving a pandemic so we are all novices at this. Psychological counseling Having a space that is carved out to process feelings and learn healthy coping is essential. There is a multitude of positive coping strategies that can be implemented, resulting in emerging from this devastating time more resilient than when you entered it. There are equally a number of unhealthy and destructive ways to get through this Pandemic. its helpful in online counseling for depression. We do not have control of much of our external world, which speaks to the importance of understanding and managing our internal world even more. Therapy is the space to learn how to do just that.
Signs that you may benefit from continuing or starting therapy via Telemental Health.
I believe that we all can use mental health services as I view therapy as another form of preventative health care, however, if you are experiencing any of the following symptoms or exhibiting these behaviors, I would recommend that you 1) not cancel your sessions with your current therapist or 2) Find a therapist now that is offering telehealth services.
1. Extreme isolation
2. Increased Anxiety
3. Inability to manage negative thoughts
4. Constantly checking the news.
5. Soothing with unhealthy foods or alcohol
6. Overwhelm
7. Inability to sleep or sleeping too much
8. Irritability/anger outburst
If you are uncomfortable with the idea of video therapy, I would highly encourage you to try it out at least a couple of times before writing it off completely. Many people have been pleasantly surprised by the experience and appreciate its convenience of it. Imagine a couple’s therapy without having to find a babysitter! (Post kids’ bedtime of course). Just like traditional face-to-face sessions, you as a client have the right to try out as many therapists as needed until you find a good fit.
Lastly, keep in mind that most private practice therapists are also small business owners, they depend on their clients showing up to sustain their livelihood as well. Please keep that in mind before you cancel your session. In this season we all need to support each other.
How to find a Telehealth Therapist
Honestly, most therapists, like myself, have either exclusively gone to telemental health services or have it as an option. I would recommend looking at Psychology Today, entering your zip code, and finding a clinician in your area that matches your needs. Many have done a COVID-19 update that will let you know if they have taken sessions online. Also, if you think that you will continue with the telemental health post-Pandemic, you can use any therapist licensed in your state also find online counseling for depression to navigate this tumultuous time we have to step up our mental, physical, and spiritual health. I encourage everyone to utilize all of the resources available to them.
Sending you all so much love and light!
Scheduling your Telemental Health Visit is Easy! Click here to schedule Today!
Attachment styles are how we connect to people. In childhood, we develop these ways of connecting based on how our caregivers interacted with us. These patterns of connecting exist from cradle to grave and greatly impact our adult relationships. If you have ever wondered why conflict never gets resolved, or you feel like there’s more and more distance between you and your partner, attachment triggers may be at play.
Attachment theory originated from the work of John Bowlby and later on Mary Ainsworth. Bowlby defined attachment as “lasting psychological connectedness between human beings.” Our desire to connect is wired in our DNA, and if you grew up with a caregiver that was attentive to your needs and provided a consistently safe and nurturing environment your ability to connect and maintain a healthy relationship in adulthood is more likely.
There are 4 main attachment types that have been identified; Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Disorganized.
As a Child: You had a caregiver that responded to your needs, provided a safe and predictable environment and communicated to you that your wants and needs were important. You felt safe and cared for in relationships with others and developed the lens that people are good and safe.
As an Adult: You desire closeness and generally feel good in relationships. You are comfortable with intimacy and don’t avoid connection or become overly clingy. You feel comfortable asking for help and getting support from others.
As a Child: You had a caregiver that was unpredictable in their responses. At times they were attentive and nurturing, at other times they were insensitive or unavailable. You never knew what “type” of parent you were going to get, so as a way to get your needs met, you became overly clingy and desperate to be seen.
As an Adult: You crave closeness and love being in relationships but often feel that your partner does not desire to be as close as you would like. You tend to need a lot of reassurance that you are cared for. In times of conflict, distance makes you feel unsettled and anxious. You prefer to talk things out right away and need to know that the relationship is “good again” before you are at peace. You need a lot of communication that may be perceived as nagging or may be expressed through anger and yelling if you do not feel heard and validated. You may hear your partner say things like “I just need some space at times.” Your Biggest fear is being abandoned.
As a Child: This is the least common and most challenging of the attachment styles. Disorganized attachment is believed to develop when a child grows to experience or witnessing abuse at the hands of a caregiver. Love and pain are intermingled which causes deep confusion when it comes to where to turn for support and love. This child exhibits puzzling behaviors such as crying for a parent but then hitting than when they show up.
As an Adult: You are high on avoidance and low on anxiety. You tend to be uncomfortable with closeness and put a high value on your privacy and independence. You struggle with asking for help and communicating your needs. In times of conflict, you get flooded with emotions and tend to shut down. You may come across as uncaring and cold. It oftentimes feels like partners are trying to invade your space. Your biggest fear is rejection.
As a Child: You had a caregiver that wasn’t attuned to your needs at all. They were distant, cold, or unavailable. This could result from a caregiver that was absent due to work, addiction, depression or anything else in between. You learned that you had to take care of your own needs and that people were not to be depended on. You felt that your feelings didn’t matter which resulted in thinking that you didn’t matter.
As an Adult: You are high anxiety and high avoidance. You crave connection but then fear to be close. You want to feel loved but your anxiety, negative self- image and confusion make it hard for others to connect with you, which furthers your sense of loneliness and worthlessness. You may be overly attached and then become very suspicious and cut off communication with a partner. You get stuck in the dance of I want to be near you but I don’t trust you.
Can you see yourself in any of these descriptions? Or maybe you find that you hold bits and pieces of more than one. We all tend to have one primary way of connecting, however, we can also have pieces of more than one attachment style. You may also exhibit different ways of attaching depending on the partner that you are with. Although we all should strive to be securely attached, if you are not, that doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. Attachment triggers can be shifted when there is an awareness of when it shows up, and how to not go back into your default patterns of protecting yourself. Creating a safe relationship where there is an opportunity for vulnerability is key. Of equal importance is showing respect for space and the connection that you and your partner need. When you both are aware of your attachment needs and are willing to respond in a new (yet uncomfortable) way, you can make different moves that attune to each other’s needs in a way that fosters a secure bond. You calm the inner child that gets activated, respond from your adult self, and help each other heal.
If you are interested in finding out what your attachment style is, here is a link to a quiz:
https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/compatibility-quiz/
I also recommend the book ATTACHED by Amir Levine, M.D. and Rachel S. F. Heller, M.A. for anyone that is in a relationship or ever plans to be.
Book an appointment at https://liferedefinedhealing.com/ or follow Life Redefined Healing Therapy Serives on Instagram