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The Toilet Seat
Let’s face it. Living with another person is hard. Even in college with roommates, we got a little taste. Maybe Rachel or James never paid their portion of the rent on time, or maybe they always left dirty dishes in the sink, forcing others to clean up after them.
And you all thought, how crummy is that or maybe “can they really be that clueless?” In any case, when the time came to renew your lease with Rachel or James, the conversation probably looked something like an episode of the original Survivor show when they were voted off the island. Sorry, so-and-so, but we’re sick and tired of reminding you how to be a decent and responsible member of society. Well, fast forward to marriage, and sadly not much has changed, except now it’s men and women living together. Men generally have a propensity to leave their projects lying around, while a woman’s restroom area might look like a cosmetic counter at Macy’s. In both cases, it’s just normal until one of you gets tired of asking politely for them to please (through gritted teeth) put things where they belong. These seemingly trivial ins and outs of relationships make for good memes and even good fodder for sitcoms, mostly because we can all relate, but in real life, let’s face it. It gets a little old.
I use the toilet seat as the example, not because I’m making light of people’s problems, yours included. But I’m using it to highlight this principle. Whether the toilet seat is left up or down, whether the toilet paper goes over or under (it’s over by the way), the fact is none of these things is an insurmountable obstacle to using the toilet. If you really gotta go, flip the seat up or down, and I’m sure you can manage the toilet roll mechanism. The reason these things are so annoying is that they are representative of something bigger, something deeper.
Perhaps the time spent at golf is upsetting because of a lack in the relationship. Perhaps, the repeated requests to watch spending isn’t really about that $5 cup of coffee breaking the bank. So then what is it really about, and how can we move from the topic of discussion to the meat of the matter?
Also Read:- https://liferedefinedhealing.com/discover-the-power-of-self-care-to-fight-stress/
As you can imagine, I’ve seen couples for dozens of reasons. Some are fighting to overspend. Others are fighting over not getting enough help with the kids or housework. Still, others are fighting over nickel and dime issues like how much time they spend on their hobbies, or maybe it’s on social media. And whether it’s finances, the in-laws, or frequency of sex, I can say in almost all the cases emphatically that the thing is not the thing.
When I was younger, much younger, cereal boxes used to come with hidden toys for kids. One of my favorite surprises was the special spy decoder lenses. They were usually red-tinted, and the goal was to help you ‘decode’ the hidden spy message on the back of the cereal box. And here’s what I want to highlight; the message was always there. The issue is it was hidden,
usually among a jumble of other shapes and misinformation. However, once you placed the decoder lens over the image, there it was, plain as day. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be able to help couples see this clearly through all the jumbled emotion and misinformation. In fact, one of the biggest services that I believe I provide as a couples therapist is acting as a sort of translator, a decoder if you will. I get to
see couples in front of me, wrought with emotion, oftentimes bickering or arguing in front of me or recounting some instance of miscommunication between them in the last week. And almost every single time, both people feel like they’ve made themselves clear about why they’re hurt or upset, but conversely, they seem to be just as confused as to what their partner needs or wants. Many times, I have to run through the event with them play-by-play, if you will, pausing here or there to help them decode the missed messages that both of them are sending.
We must move from the topic of discussion to the meat of the matter.
JOSHUA CASTRO, LPC
With folks being confined to their homes, and unable to maintain their normal routines, there is a global heightening of anxiety and extreme isolation. Now more than ever, improving and/or maintaining our mental health is an urgent matter. I know firsthand how hard therapists all over the country are working to ensure that their current clients and new clients have access to these must needed services.
What is Telemental Health?
Telemental health is the provision of remote mental health services (typically done via video. but can also be provided through text, email, or telephone.)by psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, counselors, and marriage and family therapists. Historically, the platforms that services are provided on, had to be HIPAA compliant. Given the sudden halt to services due to the Covid-19 pandemic, associations, and insurance panels have allowed more flexibility to the platforms that therapy can be provided on. What that means for you, is that sessions can be conducted on platforms such as FaceTime, Google Hangouts, and Skype. in the form of online counseling for depression. Your therapist will provide you with an informed consent discussing the limits, to confidentiality when sessions are conducted on a non- HIPPA compliant platform in addition to other logistics that will ensure a productive therapy session.
Who can receive Telemental Health Services?
The short answer to this is Everyone. You can be an existing client or a new client. You can be seen as an individual or as a couple or family. There can even be group sessions provided using this medium. In my own practice, I have used video sessions for individual therapy and couple’s therapy, who require online counseling for depression, although it may take some getting used to, everyone adjusts a few minutes and the sessions deliver the same value as when they are face to face.
Why should you try out Telemental health?
The reality is the whole world stands in a place of uncertainty. Uncertainty about our health, our finances, and our futures. This level of uncertainty can spiral someone into a very unhealthy space. Additionally, there’s no playbook for surviving a pandemic so we are all novices at this. Psychological counseling Having a space that is carved out to process feelings and learn healthy coping is essential. There is a multitude of positive coping strategies that can be implemented, resulting in emerging from this devastating time more resilient than when you entered it. There are equally a number of unhealthy and destructive ways to get through this Pandemic. its helpful in online counseling for depression. We do not have control of much of our external world, which speaks to the importance of understanding and managing our internal world even more. Therapy is the space to learn how to do just that.
Signs that you may benefit from continuing or starting therapy via Telemental Health.
I believe that we all can use mental health services as I view therapy as another form of preventative health care, however, if you are experiencing any of the following symptoms or exhibiting these behaviors, I would recommend that you 1) not cancel your sessions with your current therapist or 2) Find a therapist now that is offering telehealth services.
1. Extreme isolation
2. Increased Anxiety
3. Inability to manage negative thoughts
4. Constantly checking the news.
5. Soothing with unhealthy foods or alcohol
6. Overwhelm
7. Inability to sleep or sleeping too much
8. Irritability/anger outburst
If you are uncomfortable with the idea of video therapy, I would highly encourage you to try it out at least a couple of times before writing it off completely. Many people have been pleasantly surprised by the experience and appreciate its convenience of it. Imagine a couple’s therapy without having to find a babysitter! (Post kids’ bedtime of course). Just like traditional face-to-face sessions, you as a client have the right to try out as many therapists as needed until you find a good fit.
Lastly, keep in mind that most private practice therapists are also small business owners, they depend on their clients showing up to sustain their livelihood as well. Please keep that in mind before you cancel your session. In this season we all need to support each other.
How to find a Telehealth Therapist
Honestly, most therapists, like myself, have either exclusively gone to telemental health services or have it as an option. I would recommend looking at Psychology Today, entering your zip code, and finding a clinician in your area that matches your needs. Many have done a COVID-19 update that will let you know if they have taken sessions online. Also, if you think that you will continue with the telemental health post-Pandemic, you can use any therapist licensed in your state also find online counseling for depression to navigate this tumultuous time we have to step up our mental, physical, and spiritual health. I encourage everyone to utilize all of the resources available to them.
Sending you all so much love and light!
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